An infinite grace that reaches every corner of this beautiful land.
An infinite love; all-powerful, unconditional, and overflowing with goodness.

This is the work of our Creator, the Lord Jesus Christ, who willingly died on the cross for our sins, was buried, and rose again. He is alive!

In Him, there is a depth of freedom, peace, and joy that nothing in this world can imitate. When our hearts awaken spiritually, rivers of living water begin to flow within us.

He is a God of abounding love, grace, and mercy—One who longs to restore our joy and lead us back into true fellowship with Him.

Yet even knowing this, many of us quietly drift. We still believe. We still serve. But the fire that once burned brightly begins to dim.

And we wonder: How did I lose my first love?

Remember Your First Love

Losing your first love for God doesn’t usually happen suddenly. It happens slowly; through disobedience, fleshly desires, pride, distraction, compromise, unconfessed sin, or simply growing too familiar with His presence.

I’ve been there.

There was a time when my love for God felt distant—not because He had moved, but because my heart had grown divided by worldly desires. I still knew the truth, but I wasn’t abiding in it. I was doing Christian things without cultivating intimacy with Christ.

I remember a season of unemployment when I was deeply in love with Jesus. Having so much time allowed me to remain in sweet fellowship with Him—It was one of the most beautiful chapters of my life.

I felt His presence so strongly, and rivers of joy and peace flowed constantly through my spirit. I talked with the Lord throughout the day, praying and reading His Word with great passion and delight.

It was just Jesus and me all day long.

When both my husband and I were unemployed, I even shared with him how deeply I needed daily alone time with Jesus. I asked if he could spend some time in his hometown so I could remain in uninterrupted fellowship with the Lord. During that season, we would see each other again after about three weeks while he stayed at his parents’ home.

You Have Lost Your First Love

Yet somewhere along the way, that season changed. Looking back now, I can see how subtly things shifted. Life slowly became fuller, responsibilities increased,  and my quiet, uninterrupted time with Jesus began to shrink.

Even though I still spent long hours with Jesus, my heart was quietly growing distant from Him. I didn’t stop loving Him—but my devotion was no longer as powerful or intimate as before.

I found myself caught up in questions of why, how, and when. Complaining and worldly worries pulled my attention away from Jesus, and over time, my image of Him grew distorted.

I was still doing Christian things. I was still praying, serving, and believing. Yet my heart no longer lingered in His presence the way it once had.

The fire didn’t go out suddenly—it dimmed gradually, as my focus shifted and my heart became less attuned to His nearness. As distractions, responsibilities, stress, and other voices competed for my attention.

I wasn’t guarding my heart as I once had.

It was a quiet drift, almost unnoticed, but the reality was clear: my first love for Jesus was fading, even while I remained physically present with Him.

What Does It Mean To Be In The Wilderness Spiritually

Then something happened.

I was disobedient to the voice of the Holy Spirit when He prompted me to worship Him, but instead, I chose to watch a drama show. That single step of disobedience slowly led to the fading of His sweet presence, much like rivers of living water beginning to dry under the heat of the sun.

What followed was a long wilderness season, during which, for months, I believed I had strayed too far to ever experience God’s forgiveness again.

It makes sense that many of us, when we are in a wilderness seasons, will ask, “What have I done wrong? How did I so displease God?” This is a misunderstanding of the meaning or purpose of the wilderness.

In the Bible and throughout history, men and women have found the wilderness to be a time of preparation for their destiny in God.

So the wilderness is not God’s rejection but His place of preparation.

Pruning By God

From that moment on, my love for the Lord began to grow cold, and pride quietly took root.

I became convinced that He had led me into this difficult season to punish me. Yet in truth, when we no longer sense the presence of the Holy Spirit, what has been hidden deep within our hearts often rises to the surface.

The Lord, in His kindness, began to reveal what grieved Him; not to condemn me, but to heal me. When we fully surrender, He lovingly reveals what does not belong in His holy temple: hidden sin, old lies, desires of Egypt, and subtle pride.

The question is not whether God is willing to restore us; He always is.
The question is whether we are willing to let His grace do its sanctifying work.

Are we willing to remain in the true Vine?
Are we willing to let His truth search us?
And most importantly: Are we willing to dig deeper into knowing God’s heart?

Returning To Your First Love

Returning to our first love requires humility.

We want His peace without the pruning, His joy without obedience, His presence without repentance.

Many Christians have a growing discontent, and their love has grown cold. They serve the Lord for what He can do for them – not out of love for who He is. As long as God provides their wants, they are happy and excited about Him. When they enter a dry time, it reveals the true motives of their hearts.

Any time the focus is on self, complaining will begin.

In the midst of our wilderness experience, our hearts should turn away from self and turn toward seeking the Lord.

Removing Barriers

What is your own motivation for seeking Jesus?

Is it simply self-serving or because you long for His intimacy?

If your motivation is basically selfish, then repent of it and turn your affections toward His heart’s desire.

Too often, we seek Jesus for the wrong reasons. Selfishly, we pursue only His benefits and blessings, rather than pursuing Him out of love and longing for Him.

Without being aware of it, sometimes we use Jesus and reduce Him to a resource in a time of need.

Jesus said:

“Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone.”
Mark 10:18

This truth humbles us. We are not saved because we are good, but because He is.

And if we truly love Him, our lives will reflect that love:

“If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.”
John 14:15

How To Fall Back In Love With Jesus

Sin never fits who we are in Christ. But His grace does. His mercy does. His truth does.

That is why returning to our first love is not about striving harder—it is about coming home.

Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.

Revelation 2:5

There is a place where love is pure again.
Where faith is simple.
Where grace is received, not resisted.

It is the place of repentance, honesty, and childlike trust.

True repentance is not just about saying sorry, but turning away from sin and walking in obedience.

Repentance is not about earning forgiveness but receiving God’s grace. (Acts 3:19)

When we confess our sins, we don’t meet rejection—we meet mercy.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:9

God is not asking you to fix yourself before returning.
He is asking you to return so He can restore you.

Let us go back—to the Rock of our salvation.
Let us lay down what has dulled our love.
Let us walk again in forgiveness, faithfulness, and joy.

If your love for God feels distant today, know this: He has not moved away from you.
He is waiting—with open arms.

Return to Him.
Remain in the Vine.
Let His grace restore what has grown cold.

And if you need prayer, I would truly love to pray for you.

If you are longing for a deeper, more intimate relationship with God or a renewed passion for Him, I highly recommend reading A Heart Ablaze by John Bevere.