This period of preparation for your calling in God will be a season of heat and drought, yet you will remain green if you trust in Him.
Our Father brings us through this season of preparation so He can get us to our place of promise. A part of that training process acknowledges that brokenness is a part of the journey. To be broken does not mean becoming weakened. It means that your will is completely submitted to the will of your Master.
All of us are called, some to the marketplace, some to the educational field, some to healthcare, and the list goes on.
Those in the marketplace need preparation time for their calling, just as ministers of the gospel do. And this is true for all other arenas of life. If God gives you insight into your true gifts and calling, He will also armor you with the courage to pursue them.
My calling is Kingdom Driven, so my story reflects this.
Count The Cost Of Following Jesus
When God called me to start the ministry Forever Mercy, He first invited me to count the cost. Following Jesus requires nothing less than your entire life. Are you a true disciple of Jesus Christ, or do you desire to follow Him only if it is within certain limits that you set?
Following Jesus comes with sacrifice. Sacrifice is hard, but the harvest is worth it! My sacrifice is working faithfully in this calling without pay for as many years as God has ordained.
I believed the Lord would soon provide a way for me to be financially supported as I served His Kingdom—within a year or less.
Little did I know that I was about to go on a 5+ year training program in which God broke down my idol of money, pride, offense, complaining, my will, my need for control, reliance on my own understanding, and my struggle to fully trust Him and surrender every detail of my future.
Wilderness Experience
As time passed, I realized that my Heavenly Father was not withholding provision; He was building something deeper in me. He was teaching me obedience without immediate reward, faith without visible results, and surrender without guarantees.
What I saw as a delay was actually preparation. God was strengthening my heart, refining my motives, and anchoring my calling in Him, not in income, recognition, or outcomes.
The wilderness is the place where God tests us, humbles, strengthens and refines us. This is where He molds godly character in us. It is the preparation ground for future fruitful work in His Kingdom.
God shows us great things that He intends to do through us in the future, and then He leads us straight into a wilderness to prepare us.
Trust In God’s Plan
Learning to serve without financial compensation was one of the most refining seasons of my journey.
I remember how my mind would spin with hopeful possibilities on the days I thought my promised land was just around the corner, but I would feel utter despair on the days all was quiet. Each day, I waited patiently for God to answer my cries.
I couldn’t help but feel more and more pressured and stressed with each passing day. What if I am never formally employed in the work God has called me to? Will I ever be able to start saving up money? What about my future and retirement?
You see, as my ‘unemployment’ dragged on, I wrestled with questions of how, when, and why—questions that burned within me, weighed on my heart, and tested my trust in Him. I cried over this for many years and wondered if the Lord truly saw my situation. Some weeks, I didn’t even want to work for the work God has called me tobecause I was sad, frustrated, and dispirited.
I kept crying out to the Lord, “How long will it take before I am employed in the ministry You gave me? When will You take away the shame of unemployment from me? If you supply all our needs, why aren’t you supplying mine at this time by providing a steady source of income? Lord, don’t You see I need to earn some money?”
God’s Provision
I was having trouble trusting God. I didn’t trust Him enough to provide for me financially. I stubbornly held on to what I had, which I thought I could handle by myself. For us to put our trust in someone, we have to know what they’re like, and what we can really depend on them to do, especially when in times of trouble or uncertainty.
While I’ve often felt frustrated and discouraged about not being paid for my Kingdom job, each day I’ve also had renewed hope to keep trusting in the Lord.
According to His promises God’s plans stand sure in our lives. If He dresses the lilies in splendor, how much more will He clothe you? The wilderness is long, but His manna never runs out. Once you have Christ, you are already rich.
It is a time to maintain vision. Otherwise, without the clear view of the promise in our hearts, this time will seem discouraging and can foster complaining. It’s easier to keep going when you’re clear on your why. It is a time when your love for Jesus matures beyond “What will He do to benefit me?” and turns to “What does He desire of me?”
A complaining spirit weakens our confidence in God’s promises. Psalm 106:24-25 says,
“Then they despised the pleasant land, having no faith in his promise. They murmured in their tents, and did not obey the voice of the Lord.”
The Christian who wallows in complaining is tempted to believe that God might leave him, that God isn’t always helpful in times of trouble, or that divine grace is lacking for every need. He’s increasingly suspicious about whether God’s word is always trustworthy.
I don’t want any complaint to dare shrink my spirit, dishonor my Lord, or diminish my inheritance.
It’s so hard to want something so badly when you know deep down it’s out of your control.
It took me five years to fully surrender control, accept my ‘unemployed’ status from a society’s perspective, and come to terms with not knowing what my retirement will look like.
God Is Our Provider
My Heavenly Father was teaching me to trust Him with a future I could not yet see, and that His plans will always be greater and more beautiful than all my disappointments.
I surrendered control after having a Bible study on Revelation with women of God who have large families and stay at home with their children, receiving only a small income. It freed me from mycaptivity to ‘financial security,’as I realized there are other women who serve faithfully with little financial support, yet God continues to provide for them in remarkable ways.
These godly women helped shift my perspective and opened my eyes to see that, though I lacked tangible finances, the Lord was still providing for me through my family, encouragement from my husband, and also by giving me a safe place to live.
As I re-evaluated my situation, I repented of my anxiety and lack of faith and prayed for a renewed mind to view my situation in a more godly manner and from a promised land perspective.
He IS Jehovah-Jireh! I know Him personally as my provider every single time. Over these five+ years without a steady income, I have never lacked anything.
God’s provision is evident in more than just physical resources. Yes, he gives us physical things such as work, but His provision also extends to our emotional and spiritual well-being.
Even though I don’t know whether I’ll have a steady income or be formally employed in this God-given calling a month or a year from now, I have seen how God’s goodness is constant, and how He’s blessed me all this time while serving His Kingdom without any other job.
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