If you reach a point in your life where you no longer feel the presence of the Holy Spirit, know that you are not alone; I was (and still am) there.
It means your spiritual lamp is out of oil. No oil – not on fire for Christ. It’s like you desperately want to get filled with the Holy Spirit, but it’s not happening, leaving a huge painful hole inside of you. Your soul is no longer a well-watered garden, but a howling wilderness.
Are you too focused on a cup of soup? Are you so focused on fulfilling the lust of the flesh?
When our first love becomes the world’s pleasure, we will become a tree that no longer bears fruit and is pruned. That love for the world is like a disease within a tree, where you no longer bear fruit because of deception. Allowing filth into your heart will destroy your walk with God.
GRIEVING THE HOLY SPIRIT
I was trying hard to get healed. I was trying hard to get set free of strongholds. I was trying hard to get a feeling of Him coming back.
Just because you can’t feel the presence of the Holy Spirit doesn’t mean He isn’t present; He is simply grieved.
Imagine the Holy Spirit as a fire. When we quench the Holy Spirit, we are dampening God’s flame instead of fanning it, pushing it down instead of helping it grow stronger and more beautiful.
If we continue to grieve and reject the Holy Spirit, ignoring scripture’s instructions and the Holy Spirit’s conviction, we will quench the Holy Spirit because we have so thoroughly rejected Him.
That’s why we have to walk in the forgiveness of Christ. We have to make straight our path and walk in the will of God. Part of this is pursuing peace with all men and trying to make every attempt to make things right.
To be holy means to be set apart.
ARE YOU GIVING THE DEVIL TOO MUCH CREDIT?
After God’s presence was no longer present, not even 0,001% I felt like I was fighting a demon or a sin in the back of my throat; I wanted to spew it out, but it wouldn’t come out:
“When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest but finds none. Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds the house empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there, and the last state of that person is worse than the first. So also will it be with this evil generation.”
Matthew 12:43-45
Demons can trouble you if you have given them a foothold through sin.
With so much on your mind, you may lose faith in the Lord’s ability to heal you. But don’t fall into that trap! We serve an all-mighty God!
Remember that while demons are powerful, God is all-powerful!And they can never separate you from God’s love:
“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:38-39
REPENT
Begin by praying and asking God to reveal sin in your life that is getting in the way of your walk with Jesus – if God makes you aware of something, you must repent of it:
“Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.”
Revelation 2:5
I find that when I have trouble repenting, it’s often because I have pride issues in my life. Pride is spiritual blindness that causes us to think our standards are better than God’s standards.
I had planned to share with you what goes on in the heart of a believer who falls back into sin, but then I had five visions that I hope will help you and speak to you. 🙂
GUARD YOUR HEART
In my first vision, the Lord showed me a burning candle, which Satan blew out in an instant. Then a blood-red letter with the word “redeemed” appeared.
How well do you guard your heart? “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” Proverbs 4:23
Don’t let Satan play with your heart, or you’ll howl and wail in the desert. Sometimes the Lord gives you the answer right in front of your eyes, but if you keep wondering how and why your eyes will become cloudy.
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Matthew 6:21
Doubt, unbelief, complaining, self-pity, unforgiveness, rebellion, anger, and stress are all sins that grieve the Holy Spirit.
SURRENDER EVERYTHING TO JESUS
In my second vision, I saw burned green grass.
How should the Lord’s meadow be watered? What kind of fertilizer are we using? If we seek a quick spiritual fix rather than completely surrendering our lives to Jesus, we will never know the fullness of God.In this case, the burned grass won’t grow.
You have to surrender everything to the Lord and begin to trust Him; this is the truefertilizer that will cause the watered grass to grow again.
REBELLION IS THE BIGGEST SIN AGAINST GOD
In the third vision, I was trapped in a ball, and a thorny net began to unfold down the hill. I landed on a hospital bed, fighting with all my might and crying from the agony of my soul’s emptiness, unsure of what to do.
Then I saw the receiver and called out for help – Jesus – before putting it down. I dialed again, stayed on the line, and asked the Lord for his first instruction. Satan’s head flew around me, and I got my first lesson:
“Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
James 4:7
TRYING MY BEST BUT FAILING
I saw a car with a full tank of gas that eventually ran out of fuel in my fourth vision. I gave it another go at charging, but it didn’t work. It’s similar to constantly adding gas only to find out that the tank is still empty.
What is missing? The problem is not with the filling, but with the pipe, which could be leaking or cut by the devil.
To figure out what’s wrong with your pipe, you need to look deeper.
SIN HAS CAUSED US TO FALL SHORT
The fifth vision showed me standing on top of a building, falling to the ground floor, and trying desperately to figure out how to get back into the elevator so that I could keep going up. It looks like you entered an elevator on the top floor and slowly descended from there.
The answer to how to start moving up again is to arm yourself with God’s armor.
HOW TO RESTORE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS
If you grieve the Holy Spirit that much, it will feel as if everyone else sleeps at night, but you can’t because the dog howls all night outside your door. While you are conscious of the fact that something is wrong and your soul is experiencing pain, you are unsure of how to get out.
I can relate to Psalm 38. Do you as well?
“There is no soundness in my body because of Your anger; there is no rest in my bones because of my sin. For my iniquities have overwhelmed me; they are a burden too heavy to bear. My wounds are foul and festering because of my sinful folly. I am bent and brought low; all day long I go about mourning. For my loins are full of burning pain, and no soundness remains in my body. I am numb and badly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart.”
Psalm 38:3-8
One quote about how we perceive our sin shifted my perspective: “We’re more concerned about our own “victory” over sin than we are about the fact that our sins grieve God’s heart.” Jerry Bridges
HOW TO CLEANSE YOUR HEART SPIRITUALLY
How should a spiritual condition like this be treated?
Healing starts with the right therapy and medicine, which can only be obtained through Jesus.
You will require heart surgery:
“And Jesus answered them, “Those who are well do not need a physician, but those who are sick.”
Luke 5:31
You must be the branch that is connected to the vine – Jesus.
Remove all other gods from your life.
Get rid of what’s destroying you.
Put away the old ways and seek God’s forgiveness.
Stop willfully sinning, it’s spiritual suicide:
“For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries.”
Hebrews 10:26-27
Ask God to prune unfruitful branches in your life and deepen your faith and love of His Son.
We are called to be new creatures, set apart and holy, and to reconcile with one another.
So let us seek God’s will, the born-again experience, the changing and softening of our hearts, and walk in the love and forgiveness of Christ.
We will not experience the fullness of God by striving, but by abiding. Stop trying, start relying upon – Jesus.
Don’t let Satan’s schemes confuse, distort, and deceive you. Repent, surrender, and place your faith solely in God.
“But the one who endures to the end will be saved.”
Matthew 10:22
If you need some more in-depth thoughts on this subject, these videos may be helpful;
Off the Kirb ministries: “This is why you never mess with the Holy Spirit.”
Delafe testimonies: “I backslid from God, but then this happened.”
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